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Association to Promote Animal Smoking |
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Association to Promote Animal Smoking |
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Stories from actual people about Animals and Smoking. A Smoke-Filled Room When I was a kid growing up in Florida, I have a distinct memory of some kids in the neighborhood terrorizing me for an entire summer. Everyday when I would ride my bike over to the 7-11 to get a big gulp, these kids would always find me and do absolutely horrible things to me. One time, the biggest kid decided that he would find one of those little green lizards. The kind of lizard, that you see all over Florida in the plants and trees. The big kid, held me down over a tree trunk and shoved that little green lizard up my ass. I have never told this to anyone. I feel so ashamed. I have had many nightmares, of that little lizard squirming around in my ass. Anyway, I am now 28 and I work as a stylist in a trendy salon in Cocoa Beach. Almost everyday, me and the girls will get together and play cards and talk about all the annoying customers that we have to deal with on a daily basis. We always head over to Cheryl's apartment in Merritt Island, and it seems like the evenings just seem to fly by. It's funny how all the good days and the bad days...just seem to meld together under the Florida skies. We all usually play poker, and sometimes pinochle, and it so happens that we are all heavy smokers. Cheryl has this cat named, Bean, who will always sit on the sofa and watch us play cards. As we play, the apartment will just fill up with smoke. Bean, will just sit there and take it all in. It's a little weird actually, Bean always seems to be looking at me the whole time. It's freaked me out a few times, because she will just sit there, not moving, and stare at me for hours. One day, after we whipped up some Cosmopolitans, I decided to try and teach Bean how to smoke a cigarette. Cheryl had left to grab some burgers for the grill at the Winn-Dixie. I sat next to the cat, and I began petting him until he climbed up on my lap. I took out a cigarette, lit it in my mouth, and gently blew some smoke into the cat's face. Bean didn't seem to mind the smoke at all. I was now ready to try and get the animal to smoke. I gently placed the cigarette in Bean's mouth. She initially backed away and scrunched back into the couch. All the ladies were laughing, and I was thinking that my experiment was beginning to fail. I again held the cigarette in Bean's mouth, and I was hoping that she would inhale a little bit of the smoke. Somehow, the skies must have aligned...because the cat seemed to make the connection. Perhaps, she was mimicking what she always saw us doing with the cigarettes. I could see the cat sniff and then inhale a little of the smoke. It was such a glorious moment. The sun was shining brightly outside, and I never have felt such excitement in my entire life. After a little more coaxing, Bean took a couple more puffs on the cigarette. Some of the ladies began laughing so hard that they were actually rolling on the floor. I was sitting there with the Florida sun streaming throught the windows. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion as the ladies, the cat, and I...all shared this communal bonding animal smoking moment. After a bit, we made some more Cosmos...and Cheryl made it home with the food. We all had a nice time on the back porch, drinking and talking gossip about the salon. Cheryl never did find out what we had done with her cat. We may try it again someday, when Cheryl has left, and Bean will be in a good mood to enjoy the pleasures of a good smoke.
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