Association to Promote Animal Smoking

Twin brothers, cigarettes, and raccoon politics.  

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Deptford, N.J. - The New Jersey Raccoon Society, traditionally anti-smoking, send and banish twin brothers to the local dump .  The brothers, named THX-37b55 (Neal), and THX-38b56 (Jack) respectively, talk of a raccoon society caught in the grip of a doomsday technological device.

"For years my brother and I just didn't fit in to the ritualistic, puritanical society the Great Leader propagated," says older brother Neal.  "The Great Leader rules raccoon society with the help of this doomsday device he keeps on his belt."  The APAS investigators have found, that the Great Leader does in fact keep such a device on his belt.  

Younger brother Jack ponders, "At various times this small black device will vibrate and then a horrible beeping noise is emitted.  The great leader says that he has the power to make this device kill all of raccoon kind."  APAS investigators confirm that the device closely resembles a small paging-beeping-type device.

The Great Leader's spokes-raccoon, has repeatedly denied the APAS's request for an interview to answer these accusations.  The brother's started smoking about two months ago in response to the stress they had to deal with working in the raccoon missile silo.  Smoking is strictly prohibited in all of raccoon society.  Neal claims, "Once we started smoking, the Great Leader had an easy excuse to get rid of Jack and I.  We were always questioning authority, and speaking out about the wrongs we see on a daily basis in Raccoon Society."  Jack continues, "We just spoke the truth, and we are now banished to the local dump until the Great Leader decides what to do with us."

It's unclear exactly what kind of far reaching effects this will have on Raccoon Society.  Neal and Jack, have found some more outcasts and plan to start publishing a web site detailing everything they have seen in their lives.  

As is the case, for many species on earth, the joys of smoking can bring many hours of fun and relaxing times.  But, in some cases a cigarette can even bring about social change.  Neal and Jack are up to a pack a day each, and both are working hard to tell the truth.  Even if it ultimately means leaving their family and friends behind forever.

Jack