observations

Today I had one glimpse of my sister as she was being led in to having a "talk" with my parents in their bedroom. It has been recently revealed that my sister is the main suspect in the disappearance of a $400 nail gun, a $90 Drill, a $40 leaf blower, and also a large case of blank CDs worth $20. There is not any absolute way to prove that she stole these items, but the time frame is right, and there are no other possible suspects. I know she took the CDs, because I was the one who showed her where they were. My sister has been told today that she is no longer welcome in the house, and for her to clear out any remaining possessions she had in the basement apartment. This is all just unbelievable and I feel bad for my parents losing their stuff like this, especially to someone they loved and trusted. It's also terrible to think that she has most likely traded sex for drugs at various points recently.

I'm thinking about seeing if I can borrow my parent's big and clunky treadmill that has been sitting in their house for years stacked up against the wall. I'm considering the feasibility of such an endeavor, as the treadmill is a beast and difficult to move...and also my apartment floors are hard wood and seem to be very thin. As evidenced by the times I heard a previous tenant having sex below me. I think if I can manage to get it up my one flight of stairs, and then put it near one of my front windows, and a thick rug under it...I'm thinking it could work. I really would like to run more lately, but running early in the morning in cold weather just doesn't agree much with me.

I feel better about how things are going in my life, as compared to a week ago...but I guess as always their are a thousand different things going on in my mind. I believe I have made it through my recent "episode" of thinking their is no way I can possibly ever go on with this life...to a place of cautious optimism and trying to get the most out of the quiet moments in my life. Such as when I spent 2 hours playing with and entertaining my 4 year old niece...or when I made a nice dinner from start to finish, and then spent time actually doing the dishes soon after I was done eating. I spent a good 8 minutes leaning on the kitchen sink as I was waiting and watching my tea kettle getting ready to boil. I took care careful notice of each small stage in the life span of the boiling of water, and the different sounds the kettle makes as it works it's way to a loud whistle.

The new episode of Top Chef just started on Bravo, and it has completely derailed my blog. My eyes are getting tired, I'm looking forward to sleep tonight.

Found this great article about my hero Jarvis Cocker.

I had a lot more things to say in my blog, but this evening is getting the better of me. So, I'm going to end this soon. It's nice to be writing more lately, and I'm realy most focused on trying to just get things out in anyway I can. It's a bit easier at the moment to not dive too deeply into things on my mind, and as I mentioned before, just focus on doing the small things to keep myself engaged and in touch with the world.